When my first grandchild was born a year ago, I didn’t know that our daughter and her husband were planning on giving him an American first name and a Japanese middle name, just like we had given to our daughters. My husband and I aren’t the kind of parents that demanded that they follow the tradition of an American first and Japanese middle name, but when told of this plan, we were delighted.
On top of that, it touched me that they named our grandson Lou and chose Iwao for his middle name. This was in honor of my late father and Lou’s great-grandfather, James Iwao Okamoto. Iwao stands for strength and resilience, which my father demonstrated throughout his life. Who knows if Lou will be called the nickname “Wawa” like his great-grandfather and show the strength and resilience that the name represents? It will be fun to see if it takes.
Obviously, names are what connect us and my father’s legacy has been cemented in our family with the choice of Lou’s middle name. The future is open to see if it endures.
Along with a name comes a history. My family history involves being the first generations to build new lives in America rather than in our ancestral homeland of Japan. My father was a Nisei, born and raised in Venice, California. Both my father’s father, Kunikichi Okamoto, and his mother, Motome Fuji, immigrated to America from Japan.
Dad was one of nine children who helped with the family vegetable farm. He had the opportunities and struggles that America provided. Dad’s family went through public education, owned their own farming business, and survived the Great Depression and World War II Manzanar internment camp.
Farming remained my father’s livelihood after his internment camp experience. He relocated to Ventura County, farmed vegetables and flowers, and married my mother, Kazuko Masumoto (Issei), from Hiroshima, Japan.
I was born Alice Aiko into a farming family like my father, but I had no siblings. I consider myself to be Sansei/Nisei because of my parents’ Issei and Nisei combination. My Japanese name means “love child.” My mother was in her late thirties when my parents tried having children. It took a few years until I was born, so I was their “love child” after a somewhat difficult time trying to conceive me.
When I was in elementary school, I didn’t like standing out because of my Japanese heritage. I remember being teased about my almond shaped eyes and being called “Chink.” When I was teased, they couldn’t even get my ethnicity correct. We Asians were generic and interchangeable.
Luckily, years later I attended Channel Islands High School, which had a culturally diverse student population. That’s when I knew I could make sure my friends knew I was proud to be Japanese. At times, my friends would even call me Aiko rather than Alice.
Japanese culture continues to be melded into my family. My husband Jerry Weiner is of Jewish, Eastern Russian descent, and we have managed to blend our cultures in raising our two daughters, Samantha Keiko and Melanie Eriko. Samantha’s middle name, Keiko, comes from an aunt in Japan who was very kind to me as a child. Eriko came from a strong character on a Japanese TV show my husband and I were watching while waiting for Melanie to be born. Although both names were chosen for different reasons, the fact that they were Japanese meant a lot.
Another tradition I want to carry on and endure is for my grandson Lou to call me “Bachan.” Like other cultures that use such name titles as Grandma, Granny, Nana, Memaw, Mimi, etc., I will have Lou call me “Bachan” instead of Grandma. This will honor the Japanese and family tradition of using “Bachan” for grandmother.
I not only feel privileged to use this title, but it also makes it easier for everyone to understand. When Lou says “Bachan,” there’s only one person that he is referring to. Lou’s other Grandma also gets her own distinction because she’s the only “Grandma.” My girls had this exact situation growing up where “Bachan” was my mother and “Grandma” was Jerry’s mother. This practice had the dual benefit of carrying on our traditions and it also made it easier for everyone.
Life continues to present both challenges and joyous moments while our family continues to navigate the Japanese/American experience. We are proud to be Americans and proud of our heritage. Our names will forever continue to reflect our diversity as we carry on our family’s legacy.
© 2024 Alice Aiko Weiner
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