Morikami Sukeji, who came to America as a member of the Yamato Colony in South Florida and stayed there alone until the end of his life after the colony was disbanded, continues to write letters to his sister-in-law and her family, who lost her husband (Sukeji's younger brother) after the war. In the latter half of 1960, he looks at the letters and photos from his niece and still remembers his hometown and his past. He suddenly reflects on the fact that he was not loved by his parents. He writes about typhoons, crops, and treatment for a tooth that had been bothering him for many years. He also reports on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
* * * * *
June 24, 1960
<Worried about the security situation in Japan>
Thank you, Rei-san (niece), for your letter and photos. The newspapers and magazines arrived in three installments. They are the greatest comfort to me, who is suffering from boredom.
Your photos are great. You're a little skinny, but you've become so beautiful. You have quite a sharp figure, as you'd expect from a true expert. Who doesn't want beautiful, slender legs that are neither fat nor skinny? Not many Japanese women over the age of 20 can hope for such well-proportioned bodies.
I think it's best to avoid sitting as much as possible and do some appropriate leg exercises, such as dancing, tennis, hiking, etc. I've had weak legs since I was a child, and I couldn't walk properly until I was about three years old. I suffered a lot on school trips (there were no buses back then) and swimming. I'm still suffering at this age.
Rei-san, is your house Japanese-style? Since I came here, I have never sat down or bowed. Now I can't even sit cross-legged. I can't bend my legs enough to sit down. So if I go to Japan, I'll have a hard time. I can't even eat with a tray between my legs.
The riots in Japan have calmed down, and we are relieved. I think there will be a lot of commotion in Japan. The books I sent the other day have been returned in terms of weight. Next time I will send them in a small package.
(Note) This is thought to refer to the "1960 Security Treaty" from 1959 to 1960.
Kyoto is also gradually developing, and the residential area seems to be expanding. Japan seems to still have a housing shortage, but here there are more than enough new modern houses, and you can rent anything you want without the hassle of having to pay a deposit or a key fee like in Japan, and you can also buy it in monthly installments.
When you were born, Yoneji (my younger brother) wrote me a letter urging me, "Brother, if you have the means, why don't you build four or five rental houses in the hills of Kyoto?" At that time, housing had already run out, and I also briefly considered investing in land in Japan, inquiring about land prices here and there, but never received a single reply.
It's cloudy today, and there's little wind, so it's muggy. On a day like this, I can't write a letter as I'd like to.
What shall we eat?
I have no appetite because of the heat and lack of exercise. Everything I eat tastes bad. In summer, local produce is sold out and prices go up. I missed lunch, so I'm hungry. What should I have for dinner? Fried chicken, French fries, hat biscuits, tomato and lettuce salad. For dessert, I have chocolate ice cream and iced tea. It's quite a treat. Just like a restaurant menu, I'm not sure what to order.
Even if it is troublesome, I would like the postage of newspapers and magazines to be no more than 5 pounds. For example, if I send a book worth 10 pounds in one package, the postage fee is nearly 3 dollars, but if I send two packages of books worth 10 pounds each, it will cost only 2 dollars.
September 5, 1960
Today is Labor Day. It's been cloudy since morning and there's no wind. Typhoon Donna is moving 1500 miles southeast at 170 miles per hour, heading straight for Florida. It's just after 11:00 a.m. and I've just come back from the post office. I haven't heard from anyone.
In the afternoon, I went to the dentist. They pulled out three or four old roots, but it was very painful. It still hurts.
Even in this country where morality is not taught in schools (it is probably the same in Japan today), parents are valued. This is not the pretense of filial piety that is common in Japan. I had heard that when a Japanese soldier died, they would shout "Long live the Emperor," but in fact they called out the names of their mother and mother.
Long ago, when a parent grew old and could no longer work, the son would carry them on his back and abandon them in the deep mountains. A mother would break off a twig from a tree and leave it there for her son to use to avoid getting lost on his way home. I still remember my grandmother's story, and even as a child I felt sorry for her and cried. Unfortunately, I was not loved by either my father or my mother. When I came here, the only one who cried was my youngest brother, Yoneji.
September 20, 1960
Money is unreliable
Thank you for your letter dated the 16th, Rei-san. On the surface, America seems to be in a good economic condition, but the reality is not so good. The once booming housing construction program has come to a halt, and carpenters, plasterers, and other craftsmen are out of work and struggling to make ends meet. As a result, the financial situation is tight, and not only large hotels and companies, but even some of the world's largest plantations are in financial difficulty and have gone bankrupt.
One of the companies I am involved with has been in the red for a long time, and all the shareholders are worried about it. If it were to go bankrupt, I would be greatly affected. I think I have said this before, but there is nothing more unreliable than money. Even today's wealthy families can suddenly find themselves in a dire situation where they are struggling to make ends meet.
I have been through that experience a few times myself. But this time, no matter what happens, unless there is a world war or a civil war, I will definitely not lack the money to cover my living expenses in my old age or your school fees, so please don't worry.
Fortunately, Typhoon Dana missed our city, so there was little damage. When it reached the southern tip of Florida, it suddenly turned right due to the pressure from the continent, went north along the west coast of the peninsula, crossed the peninsula diagonally, entered the Atlantic Ocean, ran northeast, hit New York and Boston, and disappeared into the North Atlantic.
Casualties were few, but houses, roads, and agricultural products suffered enormous damage. There are still many things I want to write about, but I'm running out of space, so I'll stop here.
October 4, 1960
Hi, Rei-san, I haven't heard from you for a while, are you okay? I think you've been busy with exams. The rain that had been falling for a long time has finally stopped, but it's still cloudy. Once the field dries out a bit, I'd like to sow some seeds for our own vegetables. Radishes, turnips, and leeks. I'll also plant some carrots and tometou, which Akiko likes. Anyway, if I keep resting, I'll get sick from lack of exercise.
My appetite has decreased and I can't sleep at night. My cheeks seem to have sunk a little lately. I don't know why, but I haven't been dreaming much lately. I guess I've run out of food. My eyes are feeling much better. No matter how much I sleep, it's not enough.
"I remember my younger brother who died at a young age."
You guys probably won't believe it, but not being able to sleep at night is pretty tough. I turn off the lights and stay still. My eyes get more and more wide awake, and I look at the clock, thinking it must be around 3am. It's just past 12. When I can't sleep, I remember all sorts of things from the past.
The other night I remembered my childhood. You guys may not know this, but I had another brother. His name was Tokuji. He was about two years younger than me. He was a quiet child and hardly ever cried. I gave him miso soup or boiled wheat flour dumplings (called rokuto) on the tips of his chopsticks, and he would hold them in both hands and eat them with pleasure, blowing on them.
He died of measles (fever) when he was three years old. I remember my mother hunched over the small coffin and crying bitterly. His stone monument was in the northwest corner of the grave. It was a grey, oval-shaped natural stone about one foot and a half tall, and his posthumous name was something like Doji, but I don't remember exactly. I had an older sister and one younger sister. I don't know my older sister at all, but the younger sister was the youngest and was called Tome.
I went to the dentist again today. The blonde girl I love wasn't there, but there was another woman there. She had dark hair, big eyes, and was French. She was beautiful in a different way.
October 6, 1960
The rain that had been falling for a long time has finally stopped, and it is gradually becoming autumn-like. Takashimaya of Japan will open a purely Japanese department store in Miami (50 miles south). It's been a while since I've seen beautiful Japanese girls.
My tooth still hasn't healed. The upper gums were too thick and didn't fit the lower ones. I had no choice but to scrape them off to about half their thickness. I didn't know the core of the gums was that hard. It's just like bone. They cut open the flesh, scraped it off with a machine, and sewed it back together with thread. It took about an hour, but it didn't hurt much.
At night, when the numbing agent (anesthetic) started to wear off, I started to feel a throbbing pain, the blood didn't stop, and I barely slept a wink. My face was swollen like a balloon for about two days, and I couldn't even open my mouth. I think I'll be better in about two weeks.
<I used to hate potatoes, but now I do>
November 24th is Thanksgiving Day. I can finally eat turkey with my new teeth. People's tastes change with age and circumstances. When I was a child, I hated potatoes. Every day, I was forced to eat small potatoes with the skin on, mixed into rice or soup. When I quietly pushed them to the corner of the table, my father glared at me.
Since coming here, the only vegetables I have are potatoes and onions. Green vegetables are what I grow myself in the winter, but they are in short supply and expensive, so poor people can't afford them. But I've come to like potatoes as much as the next person, even though I used to hate them so much that I would close my eyes and swallow them. Now I like baked potatoes, french fries, mashed potatoes, potato chips. I like anything that has the word "potato" in it.
I'm glad that it's almost matsutake season in Japan. Florida is covered with pine forests, but matsutake mushrooms don't grow there. Pinky (the cat) is now sitting in front of the TV, intently watching Tarzan. The average price of matsutake mushrooms in Tokyo is 200 to 300 yen each. They're quite expensive.
Next week, my landlords are going to the north for three or four days by car. They asked me if I wanted to go with them, but I can't leave Pinky behind. If I could find someone to look after her while they're away, I could go.
November 15, 1960
Thank you for the (birthday?) celebration, Rei-san. You're the only one who remembered. I had forgotten myself. Pinky is gone. I want to go on a little trip, but I can't leave him alone. I decided to leave him in the care of a cat-loving acquaintance.
I haven't decided where I'm going yet, but it's not an expedition. I might sneak into Japan and come back. I'd love to meet you.
<Donate to rebuild the elementary school in your hometown>
I received a letter from my younger brother for the first time in a year. I wondered what was going on, but it was a request for donations for the renovation of an elementary school. It's my alma mater, and I've been so well looked after, so I'll do whatever I can. Maybe it's because the weather's suddenly gotten cooler, but my legs and back hurt again, and I'm tired of it.
The dreams that were once empty have started to appear more frequently recently. As usual, they are all incoherent. Dreams of childhood friends when I first began to feel love, or of living alone in the mountains, far from civilization, are the best comfort for a lonely person.
November 28, 1960
Rei-san, it's just before Christmas here, so the economy is in a terrible state, and it's dangerous to go out on the highway. There are reports of deaths and injuries almost every day. Japan is also experiencing an unprecedented boom, but I hope people don't get too carried away. Just as bad things can't continue for a long time, good things can't continue for a long time either.
My tooth still hasn't healed. It will probably take the rest of the year. Whether it heals or not, there will be no mochi for ozoni, so it's no big deal.
I slept through last week. I couldn't go to Thanksgiving dinner because they invited me, but they brought a lot of food. Friends are good to have. That's all for today. Goodbye.
November 30, 1960
"It's lonely and isolated."
Reiko-san, there is nothing more pitiful than a human being losing hope. It is even more serious for someone like me who has been struggling all his life. I will confess. I am now tormented by an inexplicable loneliness. Will I be saved if I go home?
I think I have more love for my hometown than most people. Not a day goes by without my eyes flashing back to the mountains and rivers of the past. But I don't have a single friend to talk to openly. I'm no longer Japanese. You'll graduate soon. If you get married, you won't be able to talk to me anymore. I'm lonely now.
December 1960
Thank you for your letter, Rei-san. It's very cold today, the north wind is blowing, and it looks like it might snow. When it gets cold, I remember the kotatsu of my old days. New Year's is coming soon.
I'd like to eat it when my teeth are fixed. My brother sent me a newspaper from Kyoto. My donation was written about in a grand manner. I've finally been made a success, but I don't feel bad when I'm praised.
December 22, 1960
"I want to eat so much mochi that my stomach hurts"
Rei-san, Christmas in America is like a combination of Obon and New Year in Japan. Every house is decorated with Christmas decorations, and people exchange presents by making calculations. The children are overjoyed. It's no different from New Year in Japan. It reminds me of my childhood. Unlike now, I didn't get a single toy, but I was happy to wear a nice kimono and eat delicious food. When I was in the second grade of elementary school, one of my aunts gave me a two-sen copper coin for New Year. I wrapped it around my obi and went to school.
When I got home and stopped by the shop to buy some paper and pencils, I found that my coins were gone. I had dropped them. I went back to school to look for them, but couldn't find them. Two sen was a lot of money for a poor child in those days. I spent a long time walking to and from school, staring at the road.
I love mochi. I loved white, yellow, and black. I loved boiled and grilled mochi. I wanted to eat so much that my sides hurt. I still love it. My teeth are healed, but I don't have any mochi. It's something I only dream about.
It's still cold here. When the north wind blows, it feels like my heart is freezing. For people living in warm countries, the cold is the worst thing. The cold in the north is so severe that many people have died. My legs are still as bad as ever. Being cold is the worst thing. I'm writing this letter next to the heater.
The end of the year makes me feel gloomy. But my mood will change when the new year comes. I'm thinking about what to do next year. There are a mountain of things I want to do. Whether I can do them or not depends on the condition of my leg.
So, what are your dreams, Rei? Graduation, getting a job, and getting married wouldn't be bad either. Good luck.
(Titles omitted)
© 2019 Ryusuke Kawai
