As I retire tonight, I am racked with an indescribable sense of guilt.

I've been making sushi here in Little Tokyo for 55 years...or maybe I should say rolling sushi for more accurate information. The world has changed dramatically since I invented the "Triple T Roll" in 1963.

At the time, sushi was only for Japanese Americans and a few foodies. Most Americans were averse to raw fish, and some customers even took the trouble to peel off the nori seaweed, which they found creepy because it looked like black paper. My restaurant, which sold authentic Edomae sushi, was deserted and it looked like it might go out of business any day now.

My second child was due to be born soon, and I couldn't just close the restaurant. I got motivated and started working on a new menu to revive the business.

If you don't like raw fish, how about tempura instead? For a punchy flavor, try the trendy teriyaki sauce. If you don't like seaweed, why not roll the rice on the outside? This is how the Triple T Roll was invented. "Triple T" stands for the "T" in tempura, the "T" in teriyaki, and the "T" in my name, Tomio.

The Triple T Roll, with teriyaki-flavored shrimp tempura wrapped inside out, quickly became a Little Tokyo specialty, and customers who had heard about it began to visit from all over the United States and overseas. Many variations were created, such as the California Roll with avocado and crab sticks, the Philadelphia Roll with smoked salmon and cream cheese, and the Rainbow Roll with colorful ingredients wrapped around the outside, and sushi culture centered on rolls spread rapidly, to the point where rolls are synonymous with sushi!

Although the essence of Edomae is nigiri, customers are ordering sushi rolls with katakana names like "dynamite" or "spider." I keep rolling them day after day, and the stripes of the mat are clearly etched on my fingers.

My God… have I just destroyed tradition?

"What are you grieving over?"

Before me stood an old man with a white moustache and wearing a white kimono.

"you?"

"I am the god of rolling mats."

"A rolling mat? Wow... that's really helpful."

"Thanks to you for making rolls popular, I've been kept very busy. Until then, in the world of sushi gods, the god of knives and the god of cutting boards had the most influence, but since the 1960s, I've accumulated points one after another, and now I'm one of the three great sushi gods, surpassing the god of rice bowls."

"Are there points in the world of the Sushi God?"

"Yes. Whenever a tool is used, one point is added, and the player is promoted for every 1 million points."

"Wow... 1 million points?" The world of God is truly on a different scale.

"Anyway, this is a happy day when your business will be successful, your children will grow up well, and you will be able to fulfill your calling, so why are you worried?"

"Um... no... I know I've used that phrase so many times, but I set out to become a sushi chef with the intention of spreading Edomae sushi in America, but in the end, rolls were everywhere, and I regret that I completely destroyed the traditions of Japanese sushi. I wonder what would have happened if I had taken my time and continued to make sushi instead of simply catering to American tastes."

"I see... I guess it's the suffering that comes with being a craftsman. I can understand that. Well, I've had a very good experience with you, so if you want, I don't mind if you pretend you never invented the Triple T Roll."

"Is that even possible?"

"I've already saved up a trillion points, so it's not like I can just rewrite the past a little bit."

"Then please, please! I can't stand this world full of rolls. Please, make those dreaded triple T rolls disappear."

The god of rolling mats then took out an extra-large rolling mat from his pocket, rolled it upside down, and put it back in his pocket. Then he smiled and nodded, and disappeared into the darkness.

Looking at the clock, it was a little after 3pm. Apparently, I had dozed off while sitting on a chair in the kitchen. It seemed that both my wife Reiko, who was in charge of serving, and Jose, who was in the kitchen, were taking a break, and there was no one in the restaurant. I absentmindedly looked at the display case on the counter and... Oh? The colors were different from usual.

I rub my sleepy eyes and focus on the display case. Tuna, yellowtail, salmon, shrimp, squid, octopus, scallops, eggs... The crab sticks that are usually piled up proudly in the middle of the display case are gone, and instead there is kanpyo. Almost no one orders kanpyo in America, and cooking it is such a pain that I haven't even made it in years!

Thinking that it might be the case, I looked over at the glass case where the vegetables were refrigerated, and there was an avocado... well, there were only two, far fewer than usual. There was no economy-size teriyaki sauce to be found, and there were no piles of nori cans. Looking at the topping case again, I saw sea bream, flounder, horse mackerel... and even blackthroat seaperch? What a full-fledged lineup! The god of rolling mats must have granted my wish.

There are still two hours left until the store opens. I thought I'd take a walk... I went outside in high spirits. From Honda Plaza, I walked west on Second Street and north on Central Avenue, and arrived at First Street, the face of Little Tokyo. The nostalgic atmosphere of the historic buildings is irresistible.

It's past lunchtime and things have calmed down a bit, but there are still a few people waiting for a seat in front of Daikokuya ramen shop. Even in LA, where ramen culture has taken root in the last few years and competition has become fierce, it's impressive that it still maintains such unwavering popularity.

Come to think of it, there used to be a few sushi restaurants along First, but I can't find them now. Tosushi, Enya, Omasa... They've all been turned into ramen shops! Suddenly, I get a chill down my spine. Is it because I didn't invent the T-roll that sushi has been replaced by ramen?

Well, it's okay. At least my restaurant is still in business, and just because it's Little Tokyo doesn't mean there should be sushi restaurants everywhere. I'm sure the best sushi chefs have set up shop elsewhere.

Well, what kind of shops are there other than ramen shops? I headed west on First, looking left and right. Bars, nightclubs, bail bondsmen, adult shops... Wow, this is a strange place! It's hard to call it healthy. I felt a slight dizziness and ran to the Little Tokyo police box where the information desk was.

"Um... sorry."

"Hello. Is there anything I can help you with?" A mild-mannered gentleman who seemed to be about my age greeted me.

"Well... the situation outside..."

"What's wrong outside?"

"I... Since when has the town looked like this?"

The gentleman at the police box sighed and replied, "Hmm."

"Since the collapse of the bubble economy in the 1990s, Little Tokyo has faded into obscurity, and before you know it, this street..."

"There were clubs like Nirvana, but they weren't as seedy as this. So what about Japan Village? Look... there were souvenir shops and Super Nijiya, and there were lines in front of the shabu-shabu restaurants and conveyor belt sushi restaurants..."

"Oh... Japan Village has a nostalgic ring to it. That whole area was purchased by Foster Real Estate in 2001, and now it's a typical shopping mall you could find anywhere."

That's ridiculous! I opened my eyes wide and ran off in the same momentum. The once bustling village was now in the hands of a large American corporation? Bunkado is still there along First Street, and Koyasan Betsuin is also there. Even the familiar red tower, a landmark, is still there!

I timidly looked inside the village from the entrance. Foster Cafe, Foster Bakery, Foster Outlet... Foster Mart has taken over the place where Nijiya used to be! Foster industry is everywhere, from left to right. What on earth happened to change the streetscape like this?

I walked with heavy steps towards the store. Second Street was filled with fashion stores, and Hamazushi and Komasa were gone. Even though they were rivals, it was sad to see them gone. Even the conveyor belt sushi restaurant Kura was so popular, but now it has been transformed into "Shanghai Revolution," which serves rotating dim sum!

"Please come back, Taisho." When I returned to the restaurant, Jose from the kitchen had returned from his break.

"Jose, why are there no other sushi restaurants left besides ours?"

"What are you saying now? In America, people don't eat sushi unless it's gourmet food, so ours is the only sushi restaurant around here."

Is it just us? Is sushi not so popular in other parts of the world where rolls have not been developed? I looked again at the display case that I had been so proud of earlier, and felt guilty that there was no imitation crab meat there.

That being said, Americans love tuna too. In the display case, there is a beautiful tuna that shines like a ruby... What? Wait a second. There's something odd about the way the veins are lined up.

"Jose, what's this?"

"Wow, what a magnificent red sunfish."

"Red sunfish? What about the tuna?"

"Taisho, please stop with your bad jokes. Tuna is on the verge of extinction due to overfishing. You know there is a ban on imports."

"Are you kidding me? Sushi isn't popular, so who's going to overfish it?"

"That's why it's so popular in Asia. I'm going to eat a lot of tuna."

What's the logic here? A lack of filling rolls has led to a surge in tuna consumption?

"By the way, where is Reiko?"

Then Jose shook his head awkwardly.

"Taisho. What's strange today? My ex-wife returned to Japan several decades ago."

"Ex-wife"... You mean like if I hadn't invented the Triple T Roll, and business hadn't gotten on track, and my wife had gotten fed up with me, and then she took our kids and went back to Japan? No, no, that can't be. I started out with nothing but Reiko. She wouldn't be so heartless as to abandon me just because I'd failed once or twice. Why... Ah, I'm so confused, my head feels like it's going to explode. Can one thing really cause all of this to go wrong? No matter how good your sushi is, it's all meaningless without your beloved wife and child! Please, rolling mat god!!! Please rewind me to the world before me!!!

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 10 minutes to 5pm. I guess I was having a bad dream.

"You guys, it's almost time to open. We need to get ready."

"Re... Reiko. You've returned."

"What are you talking about? Look outside. Since you quit, about five of your regular customers have already come."

"Oh, I see..." I got up and headed to the kitchen, where I saw two men helping Jose prepare the food. They were his sons, Hiroshi and Takashi. They were supposed to work at different restaurants...

"Dad, you seemed to have been having a nightmare. Are you okay?" asked Hiroshi, who tends to worry about everything.

"The truth is, I don't think you want to retire yet," Takashi said, grinning with the same narrow eyes he had when he was one year old.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Of course. I came to help you because I don't want you to collapse from being so busy," Hiroshi replied. Takashi was as brazen as ever, saying, "Karen and the kids are coming later, so please give your cute grandchildren some good material."

"Yeah, if you like red sunfish, I'll let you eat as many as you want," I said, and Jose interjected.

"Oh dear, that's cruel. Today there's a flying tuna in the river."

Thank goodness... there was still tuna left. But more than that, what could be more grateful than being surrounded by my family on the last day of my life as a craftsman? Oh well, at this point, it doesn't matter if it's Edomae or nigiri. Whether it's a berry roll or a sticky roll, I'll roll anything!

I looked at the clock and it was already 9 o'clock. Just before closing time, a customer I'd never seen around here sat down at the counter. An old man with a white mustache... He looked just like the rolling mat god I'd seen in my dreams.

"What can I do for you?"

"Um... I'll leave it to you."

"So, what do you dislike?"

"That's right. Nothing in particular, but I'd like to end it on a sweet and sour note... with that one."

That's what I want. I've been rolling sushi here in Little Tokyo for 55 years. Of course, I'll end it on a high note with the Triple T Roll that changed the world!

*This story won the grand prize in the Japanese section of the Little Tokyo Historical Society 's 4th Annual Short Story Contest.

© 2017 Masafumi Mori